I know I haven't posted in a while, and I'm sorry. I just can't seem to findd the words, especially after what happened in Connecticut in december.
I bailed from facebook, internet and even texts for a few weeks. I just couldn't stand the media the yelling, and those poor babies pictures. I wanted to be present in my life, and while some of younare awesomesauce at balance and can blog and still be present in your families, I can't. It's just one too many things. In reality, blogging is probably number six on the list of one too many things :( but I'm learning to slow down, I'm learning to breathe. I have some commitments that are ending by February, but I'm not adding new ones. And for once, I'm not feeling the need to. I'm coming to terms with how my life is. My life is on hold while I raise this amazing little blonde boy, and I'm ok with that. I don't want to sacrifice a moment and need to stop making all of this about me. my husband has to leave a lot for work, and being resentful isn't doing a damn thing but making me pissed off and cranky. So I'm done. Will I still have moments where I stress ? Yes. I am human after all. And I'm not perfect. And that's okay. But I'm trying to make my attitude match that of Nolan's. And right now, laughing at the antics of my silly little boy and having 342 raspberries blown on my tummy is pretty damn fun.
I chose talk to me for my title because we are hitting major frustration levels in my house when it comes to language. He wants to communicate soooooo badly, but just can't find the words. He points, but isn't always precise. A point to the other room could mean, look a door, or hey I noticed that here are cookies in the kitchen, lets go eat them. He tries sometimes, but really doesn't seem to want to learn the words for things, just wants to point. I keep getting told that the language will come, but its frustrating, and I don't know why he cries sometimes, or what he wants. I feel like I'm disappointing him, letting him down. What am I supposed to do?
Thursday, January 3, 2013
Talk to me!
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2 comments:
While I understand the sentiment, I just don't think you need to put your entire life on hold for a child. Frankly, I don't think it's healthy for either of you. I used to feel the same way, that I needed to devote everything to raising Cadet. When I did that, I wasn't taking care of my needs (writing or knitting time, taking a walk, going out with friends). You need to make space in your day/week for what's best for JUST YOU!
You are not letting Nolan because you can't understand him. You're being the best mama you can be!
Hugs!!
Oh no, not my entire life, in fact I have a giant craft room, and I'm starting Project Life for his 2nd year book, and I still manage to eat out with friends. I just meant the bigger stuff, like having a full-time teaching job and making decisions for our family (the air force is making a lot of our choices these days). That's mostly the husbands fault too, not Nolan's! For the past year he's been at this job that's been taking him away for weeks at a time, and this is going to go on for another 3 years. So that's the part where I feel like my life is on hold. I don't feel like I can add the stress of teaching full-time to my life, because my husband leaves me to single mom it a lot, and that's why I felt really stuck and blah. But I'm trying to deal with that instead of wallowing, which is what I have been doing! I know I'll get back to teaching when he leaves this position in the AF. Thank goodness! But thanks for the support, and I am much better than I used to be, I used to stay home ALL the time, because I felt so guilty. But now he goes to daycare 3 days a week, so I can clean my house, and see friends, and sometimes I substitute teach. And p.s. please come to Nebraska and teach me how to knit, because all I can make are rectangles!
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